Thursday, July 16, 2015

Keep Trying

We all have our good days and bad days. Some days I have complete faith and confidence in myself that I'll be able do something or that it will all work out okay in the end. Other days, not so much.

I've been applying to jobs again and this time I'm hoping I'll be able to work longer than two months.

The last time I worked was in February and it was only three hours a day four days a week, but even that proved to be too much. Maybe I wasn't ready to handle the responsibility and stress that comes with committing yourself to a job. In the end anxiety and panic attacks got the best of me, and after having to quit my job, it took me several weeks to get back to feeling better again.

So here I am trying again. I'm looking at jobs that are in a more relaxed environment or possibly even working from home. Ideally I'd love to be paid to write or even read haha. But so far I've been looking into part time positions too.

I guess what I'm saying is what has helped me is to let myself realize when I need to take care of myself. Also, I've learned to be okay with the fact that sometimes I have to take a step back from pressuring myself to do things when I'm not ready. Instead I've learned to listen to myself and if something seems to be too much to not be afraid to ask for help and to also help myself by seeing my psychiatrist earlier, seeing my therapist more often, or even taking my emergency medications.

But in the end, don't give up hope and be willing to try again, no matter how scary it might seem. I suppose I have to get back on the horse sometime, and right  now I'm feeling pretty good about myself even if there are those sneaky little moments of self doubt creeping in my mind. I can do it. I just have to keep trying. 

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