The Lithium Thirst: or, Why is My Glass Already Empty?

I’ve just finished my iced green tea from Panera. That’s 20 ounces of liquid, and I still want more. Not because it tastes so good (and believe me it does) but because I’m still thirsty. Welcome to the life of a Lithium taker. If there’s one side effect (besides the weight gain) that I can’t stand the most since I’ve been taking medications for Bipolar type I, it’s the Lithium thirst. The tremor I can handle even though it is embarrassing to eat soup sometimes when it’s especially bad. But the thirst. I am almost always thirsty.

The thing about being thirsty (and you don’t realize this until after you’ve gained five pounds) is that if you drink sugary drinks to quench this thirst, not only will you have a major sugar high, but you will gain weight. Plus, sugary drinks tend to make you more thirsty if anything else. So it’s true what all of the doctors and nutritionists say: Drink Water.

Ah, water. Water will become your best friend after you start taking Lithium. You will get to the point where carrying a bottle of water with you is almost as important as carrying your phone. You will become anxious if you go somewhere and the water glasses are too small. I’ve become the person who asks for a bigger water glass because I don’t want to have to ask the server to refill my glass every 5 minutes. I haven’t gotten to the point where I’ll ask for the pitcher to just be left at the table. However, when there is a pitcher of water on the table? I’m in heaven.

Originally published on Medium

Happy Valentine's Day...to You

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Were you kind to yourself today?

I started my Valentine's Day by making chocolate chip cookies for myself. (Well, and my sister, but mainly because I wanted cookies).

I decided I'd do something nice for myself today.

I spent yesterday with my boyfriend, so today my sister and I continued the tradition of last year and spent Valentine's together. So Sister's Valentine's Day. She made her amazing Spinach Mushroom Risotto and Bruschetta (that we'd bought in Scotland). It was lovely.

We spent the rest of the day painting (excuse the blurry photos, you can thank the Lithium tremor for that haha):

All in all it's been a good Valentine's day.

How did you spend your day?

Five Things I'm Thankful For

I thought I'd do a list of five things I'm thankful for. Sometimes it helps to remember all the good things you have going on in your life so you won't focus on some of the negative things.

So here they are:

1. My family: I'm thankful for the support my family has given me throughout the good times and bad. They've always shown me love even when they don't quite understand the decisions I've made. They are getting better at trusting me to know what is best for me, and for that I'm truly grateful. 

2. My friends: Again, I'm thankful for the support of my friends who I know I can talk to about anything. They may not always understand my mental illness but they are willing to be there and listen.

3. My friends on twitter with mental illness: Some days it really helps to scroll through twitter and see other people going through the exact same thing or something similar. Seeing their uplifting blog posts and tweets makes my day a little bit better, and knowing that my tweets are helping them too makes me happy. 

4. Music: Spotify playlists are almost always playing whether I'm writing, cooking, or doing some sort of yarn work. Music always helps me feel better. At the moment I've been really enjoying Jazzy Cocktail piano music. 

5. Writing: Writing out my thoughts and feelings is exceedingly helpful. It helps me realize that sometimes my thoughts are simply negative thoughts and they are just critical and untrue. It's also a helpful tool to keep track of how I'm feeling. Plus writing in general, like this blog, makes me happy! 

What are some things you are thankful for?

Off Days: What To Do With Them

Today was definitely an "off day" for me.

The kind of day you don't want to admit that something is wrong and it's not just that you don't want to go to work.

I've written a lot about working in this blog, because that's something that stresses me out and I'm still getting used to it.

Lately it seems Wednesdays are the hardest days for me to get up and go to work. Tuesdays are usually fine, because I don't normally work on Mondays, but the past two weeks I have worked Monday. Last week I was lucky and only had to stay at work on Wednesday for half of a day. The week before, it just didn't happen.

Today, I woke up after pushing the snooze button on my alarm three times to where I was going to be at least fifteen minutes late. It didn't help that the day before I had a really frustrating day and I didn't want to have to put myself back in that environment. To make things worse I'd felt weepy all day, and then found out before I went to bed that one of my favorite professors had died.

To say the least, I didn't wake up feeling motivated to do anything let alone go to work.

Then the guilt sets in. I start piling it all on thinking about how I should have just gone to work because I need to make the money. And how I'm lazy and a bad person because I didn't go. I start worrying about what is my boss going to think of me and is she going to be angry?

Most of these thoughts are not even realistic. Of course I need to make the money, but that can be solved by working an extra day or even two half days if I really need to split them up. I'm lucky that my boss is understanding. Of course I don't want to take advantage of this, but then again I don't want to compromise my health either.

I'm not going to lie and say I haven't spent some of today feeling guilty and bad about myself. But sometimes you have to let yourself feel these things. So I told myself I'd let myself feel bad for some of today but then I'm going to do something that will make me feel better, even if I feel like I don't deserve it. So I'm going to hang out with my friend and that's that. I'm done feeling bad about myself for today.

Tomorrow is going to be better and work is going to be fine.

What do you do when you have off days?

Five Things I've Learned This Year

This year has been full of changes for me, some harder than others, but I have definitely learned a lot from all of the things that have happened. 

To celebrate the New Year I'm going to tell you 5 things I've learned this year:

1. I can still travel overseas and handle jet lag without compromising my mental health. I went to Ireland and Scotland last Christmas and while near the end of the trip I did get a little cranky, I didn't end up having any anxiety attacks or have any episodes of mania or depression after I traveled home! It was beautiful:

 

Calton Hill, Edinburgh, Scotland

2. I'm learning what makes me happy and actually doing those things. I've found out that crocheting and knitting makes me happy and helps me when I'm feeling anxious. As a result I have probably two extra blankets I don't need haha, but hey it's good thing the winters are long in Michigan! I've also rediscovered my love for writing, and I'm learning to be less afraid of rejection. I've sent a few pieces of writing out into the internet world and am happy to say they've been published. It's amazing how good you can feel about yourself when you actually finish projects or share your writing with others. 

3. I'm learning to be kind to myself. This one was hard. However I've learned to not be so hard on myself or even mean. That negative voice in my head can be very critical sometimes. I wrote in a post a few weeks ago about loving yourself. I've been learning to enjoy my own company.

4. Giving myself a break. Not only am I learning to be kind but to also give myself permission to relax and sometimes do nothing if that's what I need to do. To be okay with the fact that sometimes I need a break from the stress and anxiety of the world. 

5. Most importantly, the only person who can take care of you and make you feel better is you. I'm not saying don't go to the doctor or take your medicine or stop seeing your therapist. I'm saying that only you can make those things work. If you don't listen to your doctor, or you decide to not actively keep yourself physically and mentally healthy, then you won't feel as well. For example, even if I take my medicine and everything but I choose to stay at home all the time and not do things that make me feel better and happy, then I won't feel as good. I still have the responsibility of taking care of myself and only I can do that. 

In the end this has been a really good year for me. For the most part I have been happy and healthy.

I hope you have had a really good year too!

Here's to hoping next year is even better! Happy New Years!

New web address!

Hello Everyone!

I've decided to change my web address to http://livingwithmybipolarlife.blogspot.com/. It is no longer http://mymuslimbipolarlife.blogspot.com.

I feel like the new web address fits my blog's purpose better, as I am mainly focusing on living with bipolar disorder and haven't really mentioned anything regarding being Muslim.

Hope everyone has had a good week and Happy Holidays if you celebrate!

Self-Care

I found this on twitter today from Buzzfeed. One of the posts really resonated with me: 

We should always remind ourselves that we are important too. You should treat yourself just as well as you treat other people if not better. 

Lately I've spending a lot of time by myself and while at first it drove me a little crazy. I'm learning to enjoy my own company. It's nice not to have to constantly be entertaining the people I'm with. You know to be "on." To appear to be happy and interested in what the other person is saying. When you're alone you can just, be. 

So, even though I've said this before. Go ahead and relax for an afternoon if you want to. Watch your favorite show, or do a project that you've been putting off because you've been too busy. I always feel better after I've cooked myself a meal. 

What sort of things do you like to do for self care?