Reminding Myself I'm Okay

A lot has gone on over the past two months.

My Depakote level turned out to be very low, which could have been the cause for some anxiety over the past 3 months. It's back up to where it should be, but I feel as though my body had to readjust a little bit, which is why I've been worrying more than usual about my mental health.

For example, last night I didn't get much sleep, so this morning, even though I felt perfectly fine besides feeling tired, I started convincing myself that I might be showing symptoms of mania. I started crying and checked in with my mom and boyfriend to make sure that I was okay. Both of them reassured me that I seemed fine and that they hadn't noticed anything out of the usual.

It helps so much that I have people in my life that I trust to tell me when I'm okay, and when I'm not. I know not everyone is so fortunate as to have such a good support system.

I've started taking something as needed called GABA, which my psychiatrist described to me as a "natural, milder Xanax," and it's been really helping. So far I've only needed to take one tablet at a time rather than the recommended dose of 2 tablets (I'm pretty sensitive to medications) and it works well without making me feel too loopy or tired.

Writing and journaling is helping me keep myself from over thinking and worrying as well. As long as I can get my thoughts out on paper or on the screen and they make sense, then I know I'm okay.

via quickmeme

What are some of the things that help you remind yourself that you are okay?

Five Things I'm Thankful For

I thought I'd do a list of five things I'm thankful for. Sometimes it helps to remember all the good things you have going on in your life so you won't focus on some of the negative things.

So here they are:

1. My family: I'm thankful for the support my family has given me throughout the good times and bad. They've always shown me love even when they don't quite understand the decisions I've made. They are getting better at trusting me to know what is best for me, and for that I'm truly grateful. 

2. My friends: Again, I'm thankful for the support of my friends who I know I can talk to about anything. They may not always understand my mental illness but they are willing to be there and listen.

3. My friends on twitter with mental illness: Some days it really helps to scroll through twitter and see other people going through the exact same thing or something similar. Seeing their uplifting blog posts and tweets makes my day a little bit better, and knowing that my tweets are helping them too makes me happy. 

4. Music: Spotify playlists are almost always playing whether I'm writing, cooking, or doing some sort of yarn work. Music always helps me feel better. At the moment I've been really enjoying Jazzy Cocktail piano music. 

5. Writing: Writing out my thoughts and feelings is exceedingly helpful. It helps me realize that sometimes my thoughts are simply negative thoughts and they are just critical and untrue. It's also a helpful tool to keep track of how I'm feeling. Plus writing in general, like this blog, makes me happy! 

What are some things you are thankful for?