I've officially started a "real job." One that I have to go to twice a week on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Luckily, I've known the people I work with for a very long time and they know about my bipolar and anxiety. I've only worked two days so far, one last week, and one this week. I was supposed to work today but I barely had any sleep and had a raging headache all night and woke up and it was still there. It didn't help that the cat and decided to howl in my ear most of the night (love you kitty!).
So, by taking off today most people would say that I'm babying myself. Could I have gone into work today? Sure. Would I have been very productive? Probably not. Instead it would probably have caused a lot of unwanted anxiety. The lack of sleep could have caused me to feel unstable, whether that be depression or mania. Although the mania is less likely as I'm on two mood stabilizers, but still is it worth trying to prove that I can do what a "normal" person would have done and just go into work, rather than taking care of myself? I don't think so.
So what I'm saying is it's okay to give yourself a break. Catch up on sleep, watch your favorite t.v show, and maybe even do that pile of laundry you keep putting off. It's been really hard but I think I'm finally learning how to NOT feel guilty about taking care of myself.
It was really hard this morning to tell myself that it was okay to not go into work. It was hard to not immediately go into the "Oh, I'm such a disappointing, bad person" mode. Instead I'm choosing to tell myself that "it's okay." And I can always try again tomorrow, when I've gotten better sleep.
So how about we all try and give ourselves a break and be proud that we're taking care of ourselves instead!
So, by taking off today most people would say that I'm babying myself. Could I have gone into work today? Sure. Would I have been very productive? Probably not. Instead it would probably have caused a lot of unwanted anxiety. The lack of sleep could have caused me to feel unstable, whether that be depression or mania. Although the mania is less likely as I'm on two mood stabilizers, but still is it worth trying to prove that I can do what a "normal" person would have done and just go into work, rather than taking care of myself? I don't think so.
So what I'm saying is it's okay to give yourself a break. Catch up on sleep, watch your favorite t.v show, and maybe even do that pile of laundry you keep putting off. It's been really hard but I think I'm finally learning how to NOT feel guilty about taking care of myself.
It was really hard this morning to tell myself that it was okay to not go into work. It was hard to not immediately go into the "Oh, I'm such a disappointing, bad person" mode. Instead I'm choosing to tell myself that "it's okay." And I can always try again tomorrow, when I've gotten better sleep.
So how about we all try and give ourselves a break and be proud that we're taking care of ourselves instead!
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