Am I Manic? Trusting Yourself: This is Not the Time to Freak Out

We all forget to take our meds sometimes. It happens

Anxiously starting to think you're going to throw yourself into a manic/hypomanic state because you forgot to take your meds one too many times? It also happens.

Welcome to my day today. I was feeling restless, more than usual and unfocused. I haven't been the best at taking my meds every day this week and I started to think: Shoot, what if this is the beginnings of a manic episode?

Before I let myself go into full blown panic mode (this is when my anxiety kicks in and tries to freak me out) I stopped and really thought about it. Had I been showing any signs of real mania?

I'd slept at least 8 hours last night, and the night before. To be honest, I've been sleeping at least 8 hours a night all week. I hadn't been talking excessively, and I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. I wasn't having any unusual racing thoughts other than trying to freak out about whether I was manic or not. However I had drank a large cup of caffeinated tea and diet Coke.

Ah, too much caffeine. I was also feeling a little dehydrated, which could explain why I was feeling extra jittery and a little "off."

So, no, I told myself, I wasn't becoming manic.

After I drank a couple of glasses of water, I went to the store to distract myself and to get out of the house.

It's 60 degrees out. I think it was just a case of too much caffeine and becoming a little stir crazy.

I'm still learning to trust myself when it comes to the fear of becoming Manic. I think sometimes I don't give myself enough credit. Granted, I need to take my meds every night (and I'm definitely going to work on this now), but otherwise I'm doing a good job of taking care of myself.

Lesson learned: Don't drink too much caffeine, drink plenty of water, and take your medicines every day!

What do you do to keep yourself from freaking out?

The Lithium Thirst: or, Why is My Glass Already Empty?

I’ve just finished my iced green tea from Panera. That’s 20 ounces of liquid, and I still want more. Not because it tastes so good (and believe me it does) but because I’m still thirsty. Welcome to the life of a Lithium taker. If there’s one side effect (besides the weight gain) that I can’t stand the most since I’ve been taking medications for Bipolar type I, it’s the Lithium thirst. The tremor I can handle even though it is embarrassing to eat soup sometimes when it’s especially bad. But the thirst. I am almost always thirsty.

The thing about being thirsty (and you don’t realize this until after you’ve gained five pounds) is that if you drink sugary drinks to quench this thirst, not only will you have a major sugar high, but you will gain weight. Plus, sugary drinks tend to make you more thirsty if anything else. So it’s true what all of the doctors and nutritionists say: Drink Water.

Ah, water. Water will become your best friend after you start taking Lithium. You will get to the point where carrying a bottle of water with you is almost as important as carrying your phone. You will become anxious if you go somewhere and the water glasses are too small. I’ve become the person who asks for a bigger water glass because I don’t want to have to ask the server to refill my glass every 5 minutes. I haven’t gotten to the point where I’ll ask for the pitcher to just be left at the table. However, when there is a pitcher of water on the table? I’m in heaven.

Originally published on Medium

Happy Valentine's Day...to You

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Were you kind to yourself today?

I started my Valentine's Day by making chocolate chip cookies for myself. (Well, and my sister, but mainly because I wanted cookies).

I decided I'd do something nice for myself today.

I spent yesterday with my boyfriend, so today my sister and I continued the tradition of last year and spent Valentine's together. So Sister's Valentine's Day. She made her amazing Spinach Mushroom Risotto and Bruschetta (that we'd bought in Scotland). It was lovely.

We spent the rest of the day painting (excuse the blurry photos, you can thank the Lithium tremor for that haha):

All in all it's been a good Valentine's day.

How did you spend your day?